Volition by Lily Paradis
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Publisher: Empire Books
Publication Date: January 16th, 2015
Song I Played While Reading: Faded by ZHU
Rating: 4 stars
You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that stays with you, then tears you apart slowly at first, and all at once shreds every fiber of your being?
It’s because you’re contradicting the universe.
Everything lines up so perfectly that you couldn’t have imagined it to work out better, but then you have to go and do everything humanly possible to ruin it because you can’t stand to have it go right?
That’s what I did.
I did it because there’s a darkness that surrounds me, and I think I want it there.
My name is Tate McKenna, and my soul is blacker than my heart.
I think the only way to properly read this book is to not know anything about it. Read the synopsis above, make your predictions, and then jump into the story blind. I'm not going to bother making a spoiler free review. SO LEAVE AND READ THE BOOK AND THEN COME BACK. Then you can try and untangle your thoughts like I'm going to be doing here.
I honestly had no idea what to expect. My first thought was that this was a fantasy book. She's got the power to kill people with a simple look or touch or thought. That would definitely taint your soul a little. And then I figured the author purposely made the synopsis vague and semi-creepy so I should respect her wishes and not going hunting around for the answer.
What I didn't expect was.. a romance. I mean, thats not exactly the right word for it, but I really can't come up with anything else. It's a dark romance. It features two completely different guys, one Tate is running away from and one Tate unintentionally caught the interest of. I didn't like Jesse, especially in the beginning. And I didn't understand their relationship. They were soulmates, but they hated each other and had no connection. They also kissed once and it was awful. So I struggled to relate and understand that. I mean, I knew the gist of it and could kind of see what was going on, but the physical reaction she had to him left me a little baffled. I hated how he treated her and wished he would rot in hell, even as we got our answers at the end during his chapter.
Hayden, on the other hand, was absolutely perfect. I was rooting for him from the beginning, and was seriously worried that Tate would just drop his ass and completely break his heart. I could see Paradis doing that just to fuck with our emotions. When we first meet him, he's like Christian Grey; the perfect specimen, with smoldering eyes and a deep voice. He's young and successful and knows how to work a crowd. But the more we got to know him, the more we realized that he's a total sweetheart. I mean the guy literally would drop everything just to help Tate. He went from a brooding hunk to a little puppy in the span of one date. And for some reason, this reminded me of Fifty Shades of Grey. Technically, the only parallel would be the elevator scene when they first kiss. It's spot on. But the rest is different. I'm thinking its only because Hayden reminds me of Christian in the sense that he physically looks like him and is super wealthy.
I really, really liked Tate. I'm morbidly curious, and whenever I find a character who is like that, and more, I'm always comforted. My thoughts mirrored hers at times and I would laugh out loud at her decisiveness because its so me. She's definitely not as dark as you'd think, at least in my opinion. I think her only fault (if you even want to call it that) would be that she doesn't hide the dark side everyone has in them. She's brutally honest, doesn't shy away from death, and enjoys being mean and destroying things. She has her people (Colin and Catherine) and doesn't need anyone else so why does she need to please everyone? I admire that about her.
I'm not saying she didn't do some things that had me a little weirded out (definitely won't be writing on my to-do list to lay in my future boyfriends casket with him), but she wasn't as crazy as she thought she was.
With her track record, I'm a little surprised she didn't knock Jasmine out. I was rooting SO BADLY for her to do something. I fucking loathed Jasmine. It's rare for me to really hate a character, but oh man. IT WAS BAD. Honestly I'm disappointed she didn't do anything. I know its petty of me to think that because Tate is a new person BUT STILL. SPILL A LITTLE BLOOD, THE BITCH DESERVED IT. My favorite chapters were of Tate as the editor-in-chief in the journalism class, mostly because she hated Jasmine and had no qualms about showing it.
I enjoyed the alternating chapters because it made me think. It was like having only the pieces that made the border of a puzzle, and each flash back was one more piece added. What finally pushed Tate to leave? It was a little anti-climatic, but that was only because I couldn't relate to her feelings on the cemetery and how sacred it was to her cause of her parents. I wholeheartedly approved of her shoving Jesse and Jasmine into the grave though, good girl!
I adored the relationship between Tate and Colin. Platonic relationships between a guy and a girl are the absolute best, and I thought he was so good for her. Both him and Catherine helped her so much along her journey and I know for a fact she wouldn't have survived without them. They were the yin and yang to Tate's black soul.
I encourage everyone to read this. It's dark and gritty, but not so much that you feel like you need to put the book down and breathe for a few minutes. It's thought-provoking, funny, and brutally realistic.
"We’re like oil and water, only someone put the oil on the bottom and then dumped the water in, so I’m forever trying to get over him while simultaneously going through him as the pieces of me try to connect on the other side."
""Oh, Jasmine you'll get used to it."
That was what I told her, but in my mind, I decided I was going to make her wish she'd never left her pretty little New York City penthouse for the south." *evil laughs* YEAH TATE YOU TELL HER!
"I think he's about to shove her down the ladder when a man swoops up to grab her in his arms, and I'm pretty sure I've just witnessed the beginning of a love story or Stockholm Syndrome based on the way she looks at him as he carries her off into the darkness."
"Steak and potatoes. Thats what I want for my last meal when they put me in prison for manslaughter because I'm going to kill Jesse Elliot today. I probably contributed to killing my best friend for her, and I would do it again a thousand times. I've wanted to kill Jesse ever since he transferred to our high school to torture Tate, and today, I'm going to exact my revenge. Yeah, steak and potatoes sounds good. Add some gravy. Maybe some apple pie for dessert."
(Image and synopsis from Goodreads)
at 11:47:00 AM