Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Publication Date: October 23rd, 2018
Pages: 984 (!!!!!)
Song: Left Behinds by Paris Blohm
Rating: 4 stars

The final battle is here.

Aelin Galathynius has vowed to save her people - but at a tremendous cost. Locked within an iron coffin by the Queen of the Fae, Aelin must draw upon her fiery will as she endures months of torture. The knowledge that yielding to Maeve will doom those she loves keeps her from breaking, but her resolve is unraveling with each passing day...

With Aelin captured, friends and allies are scattered to different fates. Some bonds will grow even deeper, with others will be severed forever. As destinies weave together at last, all must fight if Erilea is to have any hope of salvation. 

I've been dreading this moment for 5 years. 
I was a little late to the ToG game. I picked up this series as Heir of Fire came out back in 2014. And I have Christine Riccio to thank (also known as PolandBananasBooks on Youtube) because her review was the sole reason I picked up Throne of Glass. How I even knew of it in the first place. I hadn't yet created this blog, so I was out of the book world loop.
I was hooked from the first page. 
I have a soft spot for vivacious, sarcastic heroines. Rose Hathaway from the Vampire Academy  series was my first dip into it, which will always be my number one series. Those books own my heart and soul. But the second I finished ToG, Celaena came smashing her way into my heart as well. The only difference between the two series' is that I was only invested in a few of the characters from VA; the ToG world? I was invested in everybody. For as many flaws that the series has, Maas really knows how to write empathetic characters. Even the assholes. 
I was a fanatic for this series. The wait between Heir of Fire and Queen of Shadows was absolute death for me. The longest year of my life, and once I got my hands on QoS, nothing stopped me from devouring it. 
I'm going to start spoiling, so shoo if you haven't read this series. And shame on you, really. 
I'm not going to get into it, because I don't want this to be long winded. I've accepted QoS as what it truly was: the end of Celaena, and the beginning of Aelin. And it was never the same after. Aelin wasn't the same. At the end of HoF, I had zero qualms about the narrator. Yes, she had accepted herself and was now going by Aelin, cool. I was pumped.
But there was something off. Something I still can't even put my finger on, but Aelin came across different. And I was devastated. Absolutely, heart-crushingly hysterical. 
It wasn't the same. And, as most of you know, it only got worse as Empire of Storms came out and SJM apparently decided to ditch the YA category entirely and jump to NA. Or maybe even Adult, if you want to push it. 
Kingdom of Ash only ripped the bandaid off that wound and proceeded to shred into it. REPEATEDLY. I thought I had cried enough in Queen of Shadows but oooooh no. I've never, in my entire life, cried as consistently as I did will reading a book. Once Aelin caught up with Chaol and Yrene, it was over. I was done. I cried the entire rest of the way through the book. I was heartbroken all over again cause these characters were so vastly different from what I had wanted them to be, but I was also happy that they were all coming together to save Erilea. To save Terrasen. 
The biggest shock though? The Thirteen. 
I did not think their deaths would hit me as hard as it did. That, and the ending, was when I sobbed. Just outright threw the book on the floor and buried my head under my sheets. That was one of the most beautiful scenes written in this series, the way the Thirteen had used the Yielding to destroy the Witch Tower. 
I rated KoA four stars. I docked the one star for my inner naive little self still wailing over the characters, but this book was a feat. Truly a magnificent, bloody ending.  SJM's writing, as always, is phenomenal. While bleak and heartbreaking, that's just the way war is. Did it feel like Lysandra and Aedion had been fighting THE ENTIRE FUCKING BOOK? Yes. (Because they were.) But you couldn't really expect anything else from Erawan and Morath. They wanted to crush them. SJM had to convey that, which she did. Over and over and over again. 
I was definitely surprised it took Aelin so long to get to Terrasen. I expected her to be there well before the last quarter of the book, but I guess that's just the suspense of it all, to really ram in the effect of Aelin finally going home. Stepping through the walls into Orynth itself. 
There was much less death than I thought. But I need to talk about Gavriel. 
One word.
WHY?
It seemed so random, so pointless, to make him fight that hard to get back to Aedion, to only sacrifice himself for really no reason. They could've barricaded the wall and been just fine. It felt like Maas threw that in there last minute to tug some heart strings, but really it came across as unnecessary 
Everyone got their happy ending obviously, which makes me happy. But nothing made me quite as happy as LORD LORCAN LOCHAN. I will NEVER get over that. Those two were pretty damn close to winning it all for me. I don't know why. Maybe cause he was this gigantic, brooding, death-is-literally-flowing-through-my-veins man and this smol little feisty bean took one look at him and brought him to his knees. 
I'm going to cap this here before I ramble on. I'm sad to see these characters go (and the sarcastic jabs because I lived for those) and I am hoping SJM might pull a ACOTAR and write little novellas at some point. We'll see!

Thank you for reading. See you next time <3

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Tentative TBR for 2019

So, my goals for reading this year are drastically different from previous ones. Mostly because I don't have as much time to read anymore. If I'm not getting home late from work, eating dinner, and then immediately passing out on the bed, Chris and I have scheduled time to watch our favorite shows (currently obsessed with The Resident), or we're golfing, or I'm helping him with a side job, or we're hanging out with friends, etc.
You're probably thinking to yourself, "Bah, excuses, EXCUSES, BITCH." I wholeheartedly agree with you! But until I figure out a solid balance, my reading is sporadic and desperate at best. But! That doesn't mean I don't have a TBR list. I made 50 books my goal this year for the Goodreads Reading Challenge, and am dedicating all of 2019 to destroying my TBR pile. I'm embarrassed to say I have one that's been sitting on my shelf since 2014. And I'm not even going to say what it is because you might reach through your computer and smack me upside the head cause it's definitely one by Laini Taylor and I definitely REALLY LOVED THE FIRST BOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS, I'M SORRY.
So, without further ado, here are some of the books I'm looking forward to reading this year!

Tower of Dawn by Sarah J. Maas

I'm emotional about Chaol for many, many reasons. Mostly because she turned my dream man into a sniveling, whiny brat and I hated it. That wasn't who he was, and I'm pretty sure she only did it so people would ship a certain main character with a certain male with face tattoos. But from the reviews, Chaol comes out fairly normal in this so I guess I'm okay.

Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas

And obvious book to follow Tower of Dawn. I'm emotional just reading the damn synopsis, so I'm going to be hysterical and possibly comatose when I finish this. For as much as I hated how the story went and how the main character changed halfway throughout the series... This is my OG series. The first series to truly morph me into a rabid fangirl. It'll be a wild ride.

Summer Skin by Kirsty Eagar

Since I will be in a state of absolute devastation from KoA, I figured this snarky romance would ease me through my mourning process. Here's a little blurb:

"It's all Girl meets Boy, Girl steals from Boy, seduces Boy, ties Boy to a chair and burns Boy's stuff. Just your typical love story.

A searingly honest and achingly funny story about love and sex amid the hotbed of university colleges by the award-winning author of Raw Blue."

Sounds amazing, right? YES.

King of Scares by Leigh Bardugo

Who's surprised? NO. ONE. I've been waiting for this moment ever since I finished Ruin and Rising one rainy night in December of 2014, absolutely crushed over what my poor Nikolai went through. At Yallwest, when Leigh was signing my Six of Crows book and asked who my favorite character was from that series, I blurted out "Nikolai." 

And she laughed really hard and said he wasn't in that series and I start blabbing about how he was too good for this world and he deserved his own series so he could have a happy ending, and I even got her damn friend who was standing next to her to back me up. So. I would like to formally take a small claim in thinking she wrote KoS because of me.

You're welcome. 

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Back in my Reading Dark Ages (that's what I'm calling my year and a half hiatus from the book world hehe), I still kept getting some kick ass book mail. I received this, but wasn't too keen because I had read Black's The Coldest Girl in Cold Town and wasn't super thrilled with it. So I didn't think much of The Cruel Prince until I jumped back into the book world and WOW WE'RE MY ASSUMPTIONS WRONG.

I read that this is like Game of Thrones? And some people don't like it because it's so vicious and dark???? Um... SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. 

The Winter People by Rebekah L. Purdy

This is a suuuuuper random book that's been on my TBR for over two years. As mixed as the reviews are, the synopsis keeps getting stuck in my head and intriguing me. It's about this girl who fears winter time, and the cold, because of something that happened to her as a child. I know there are faeries involved, and honestly I love the idea of creepy faeries. So I'm going to give this a go.

I will definitely be reading waaaay more books, but these are ones I have on hand that I plan on reading immediately. Since I was so out of the loop, I have zero idea of what's coming out in 2019, so most of my TBR are books dating from 2018 and before. 

So! Tell me what books you're most excited to read this year. Any new releases I should keep an eye out for?

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Did I fall off the face of the Earth? Sort of

Hi guys.

Honestly, I don't even know where to start this post. I'm surprised I'm even writing this because I thought I was done with the book world forever. That sounds a little dramatic, but it's true.
Up until 5 days ago, I hadn't picked up a YA fantasy (or really any book) in a year and 8 months.
A year. And 8 months.

Yeah. You read that right.
A YEAR AND 8 MONTHS.

Writing this post is kind of a slap of reality to the face because I don't even know what happened. People can get busy and reading can be put on the back burner. Everyone goes through it. But I almost turned away from it completely. The idea almost made me anxious, the notion that I used to read and blog and take all these pictures of books. It was a whole side of me that just shut down.
So for anyone reading this who wants the short version of the story: I took a break from the book-world, and two months later life got in the way. And it's only just now starting to calm down.
I have no idea if I'm going to really jump back into all of this. The idea has been nagging at me more and more lately. I miss my fan girl side. It was my passion in life. But I think this is a good start, right? (If I even post this, lol.)

Anyways, if any of you beautiful souls out there want more details of what happened and what I've been up to this past year and a half-ish, keep on reading.

______________________________

I would like to say it all started when I accepted a position at a media production company as an administrative assistant, but looking back on it, my anti-book mindset starting creeping in two months before that.
It wasn't a sudden change. There was no catalytic moment that made me suddenly turn my back on reading. I think I just got a little tired of it all. I had been actively reading and blogging and basically drowning myself in everything book-related for two years. Some people don't need to come up for air. But I did. It started to become monotonous for me, the same wave of emails coming in, the same books I got in the mail, the same posts I had on Instagram and on this blog. I'm sure most of you understand, so I don't really need to explain this.
So, I decided to take a break.
I started making more time for my friends and family. I threw myself completely into my job, which I loved with a passion. I started thinking about my future more and what I wanted to do. I had turned 21 that year and stared going out more. I was just living life, ya know?
I accepted the position at the media production company, and then it was a balance to juggle my work and social life. Reading was so far out of the question it wasn't even funny.
And in the middle of all that, I started talking to the love of my life. He was a golfer at the country club I worked at, so I knew him for quite a while before that fateful day where I friend requested him on Instagram and he immediately slid into my DM's. (Babe, if you're reading this, you can deny it all you want but that's exactly how it went.)
We're engaged now, and we get married on May 18th of this year. He's my best friend and soulmate. I knew those things even before we started dating, and he pushes me to be the best version of myself and to never stop fighting for my dreams.
During our whirlwind romance I quit those two jobs to pursue something in the event coordination field, but it fell through. I didn't have a job for a while, and that was probably one of the darkest times of my life. My anxiety and depression were so bad that I probably cried more in those 4 months than I did in my entire life. I kind of lost myself for a little there and poor Chris went through a lot during that time. But he stuck by my side and was my lifeline.
I found a job in March. Once I got back into the rhythm of that, I was able to deal with my anxiety, which I realized fed off me not having any purpose in my life. And in the past couple months, as life finally slowed down, I started to think back to a time when one of my purposes, one of my passions, was reading.
And here we are now. Slightly nervous, slightly excited, my mind still on the first few chapters of A Court of Thorns and Roses that I started over the weekend (because what better way to jump back into reading than with a SJM novel?).

Update: I wrote this post back in December of last year, and I just finished A Court of Frost and Starlight. I'm not sure if I'll write up a review of ACOMAF and ACOFAS, but I might. We'll see. Next up? More SJM, duh. She's finished the ToG series and I NEED to finish it. I think I'm going to dedicate 2019 to finishing all the series' on my shelves, like Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor and The Illuminae File by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kauffman.

So, my friends, here's to the new year and (hopefully) the return of bookworm Mariah.

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