Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Song I Played While Reading- Style by Taylor Swift
Rating- 4 stars

The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she's gaining an intimate knowledge of her new neighbor's nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...

I know what your thinking. Seriously? Wallbanger? And that cover? I KNOW, I KNOW ITS BAD. Normally I would have skipped right over this book, snickering at the name and cover. To me all romance novels blur together, with corny covers and zero depth. Which makes sense when all you want to do is read some sexy time. 
Now I'm in to sexy boys and sexy time, but when thats all thats literally happening, it gets dull. I need something else involved. Which was why I was so surprised when I kept seeing this book accompanied by positive reviews from people I follow on Goodreads, Tumblr, and on their blogs. So I thought what the hay, I don't read much romance/ adult books and could definitely use the humor. And boy am I glad I did it. This book was fucking hilarious. Never mind the banter between Simon and Caroline that had me clapping my hand over my mouth so my family wouldn't think I was insane, but Caroline herself was a hoot. She was witty, honesty, independent, and dramatic. I loved it. Simon, though initially thought of as a manwhore, turned out to be such a sassy sweetheart that I melted. 
Instead of the annoying insta-love that seems to be popping up in stories more and more often these days, especially among romances, these two lovebirds took it slow. They had a delightful and flirty little friendship going on for a while, mutually agreeing they were attracted to each but not sure exactly how to proceed. And nothing gives me more of a happy glow than two lovers starting out as friends. I was actually surprised at how long it took for them to get it on. But boy was it worth the wait.
Another thing I liked was that the humor never stopped. Even during the sexy times, Clayton managed to whip in some raunchy banter that made the scenes light-hearted and sweet, and not too intense. Caroline and her friends, Sophia and Mimi, really showed girl-power in this book and it was a nice seeing friends who really appreciated and supported each other. 
Overall, this was a great and light read that I recommend for anyone who wants a good romantic comedy, but also can handle some mature content (Jesus I sound like my mother). 

"Clive, at this point, went utterly bonkers and launched himself at the wall. He was literally climbing it, trying to get to where the noise was coming from and adding his own meows to the chorus.
"Oooh, yes, just like that, Simon... Mmmm... meow, meow, meow!"
Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of the this wall tonight. The woman had an accent, although I couldn't quite place it. Eastern European for sure. Czech? Polish? Was I seriously awake at, lets see, 1:16 a.m. and attempting to discern the national origin of the woman getting plowed next door?" (pg. 12)

"I looked at him, exquisitely rumpled and in my bed. He smiled that smile, and I sighed. I allowed myself a moment to indulge in a fantasy where I was then quickly flipped and ravaged to within an inch of my life, but I wisely got control of my inner whore." (pg. 165)

*Texts between Neil and Simon*
Neil- Dude, pack your shit and get your ass to Tahoe.
Simon- I will, but I'm picking up Caroline.
Neil- I see.
Simon- You see nothing.
Neil- I see everything. 
(pg. 168)

"Jaw? Strong
Hair? Dark and messy.
Stubble? Two days' worth and nice.
Lips? Lickable but lonely looking. Maybe I could check them out, do my own little tongue inspection...
I sat on my hands to stop myself from launching over the console. He continued to hum and drum. 
"Whats going on over there, Nightie Girl? You look a little flushed. Need some more air?" He started for the air conditioner.
"Nope, I'm good." I answered, my voice sounding ridiculous.
He looked at me strangely, but resumed his hum and drum. "I think its time we broke out the cranberry-orange bread. Hit me," he said a moment later as I was indulging in a fantasy about how exactly I could maneuver myself into his lap while still maintaining a good highway speed." (pg. 174)

"I have to figure out this shit with Caroline. She's so great and I mean so great... Has there every been a woman who's possessed every single quality I've been looking for? Except for Natalie Portman, of course. But Caroline? I have to stop watching so much Lifetime- I mean, what guy in his own mind even think in sentences like, "Has there ever been a woman who's possessed every single quality I've been looking for?" (pg. 218)

(Image and synopsis from Goodreads)

No comments:

Post a Comment