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Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Get Up Offa That Slump: writing a glorious hate letter!

The topic for this post is something I not-so-secretly love doing: talking shit about that character. You know, the one that has pushed all your buttons, made you want to throw the book at the wall, and basically turned you into a screaming, murderous machine? Because that's exactly what happened to me. You can either write a letter or a review, but can't use any names or things that could elude to what series/character you're talking about. 
So, without further ado, here's my glorious hate letter! (Warning: you can bet your booty there will be swears, so don't read this if you're faint of heart.)

   Dear Undeserving Bitch,

   You didn't deserve the happy ending you got. I may have cried during it, but that has nothing to do with my feelings for you. It was more towards the people around you, and how much they suffered during your stupid "I'm my own person, I MUST MAKE MY OWN CHOICES" tirade that took up wayyyyyy too much time. I bet the only reason people even showed up was because of your hubby, because he actually has a heart and is kind and forgiving and so sweet, yet also stupid because HE MARRIED YOU. He was way too good for you. You're undeserving of his damn heart, even to this day.
   You're a ruthless and idiotic hypocrite. A hypocridiot, which I just found on Urban Dictionary to be someone who is both an idiot and a hypocrite. So. That's you. Obviously. And I'm not saying that in the sense like, "Wow, I don't like her, so I'm going to call her an idiot." Oh no no my sweet darling, I'm calling you an idiot in the sense that you'RE ACTUALLY AN IDIOT. The amount of times I questioned your intelligence was ridiculous. I understand wholeheartedly how a character can make mistakes, everyone does! Hell, I do all the time. But the shit you did? Grow the fuck up, you brat. The world doesn't revolve around your prissy ass. Thank God someone called you out on it and made you look like the complete fool you really are. 
   Now, let's get back to your independence. I liked you in the first book because you weren't trying to impress anybody. You didn't fit the mold of all the other girls. Good for you! I can applaud you for that. But, when you promise something, giving your man hope for this bright and sparkling future, you don't ever go back on that, especially when something occurs that is completely out of his control! Stop and fucking think, you ignorant twat. If you say you love him so much, why did you immediately question him? AND THEN BREAK HIS HEART FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME? Sorry not sorry, your ass would've been out on the streets if I was him. BYE FELICIA. I'm all for being a strong and independent woman, and wanting to have time to make a very important choice, but you hit a new level of indecisiveness. Not only that, but you also hurt everyone around you with your indecisiveness. You lead both of your guys on, which is NOT how you make a choice. 
   Let's not forget how hypocritical you are! This was quite possibly the best part of the book. Not only do you not think about anyone but yourself, with your little problems and "ugh, who do I choose???????", but you go out and cheat on your main man without a second thought. How you managed to not only get ONE, but TWO guys to fall for you is completely beyond me. The world is a fucked up place, I tell you. I can't really go into detail on this sort of hypocrisy, but just know it was unforgivable. You basically died to me because of it. How anyone can yell and scream at their man for doing it, then GO AND DO IT YOURSELF AS IF IT'S TOTALLY FINE, and be shocked when your man calls you out on it? PLEASE, BITCH. YOU'RE LUCKY I WASNT IN THIS STORY BECAUSE I WOUDL'VE CUT YOU BY NOW. 
   Okay, I'm running out of steam here. All I feel like doing now is just naming all the things I think you are. So: judgmental, indecisive, emotional to a fault, confusing, impulsive, ignorant, thoughtless, self-centered, imprudent, immature, and finally, HYPOCRITICAL. I also think you're underserving of everything you got. I might have mentioned that before, but just in case I didn't!!! 

   Sincerely,
   The Girl Who Is Currently Cackling At Your Current Predicament Because KARMA IS A BITCH, BITCH.

*releases a huge breathe* DAMN, THAT FELT GOOD. 10 points to anyone that can figure out who this is about! And then another 10 points if you feel the same way, because us haters gotta stick together.  

11 comments:

  1. this was so entertaining to read! I'm glad it helped to vent a bit! I should probably do this at a later time as well, it sounds like a very freeing experience ;)

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    1. Hahaha, I'm glad! It is, I actually released a huge breathe when I finished this. I wish I could tell everyone who it is so everyone can be warned, but oh well :)

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  2. Wow, I don't like this character at all!
    Sounds interesting though, Mariah, and I'm glad you got everything off your chest! :D

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    1. YAY! Hahaha I definitely did give everything in this letter, now I've got to think of more shit to talk about with this character. ;)

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  3. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THIS BOOK IS IMMEDIATELY. I have some ideas ;) I definitely did not go into this much venting with mine xD Super entertaining to read lol

    Molly @ Molly's Book Nook

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  4. Awesome, I think hypocridiot may be my new favorite word. :)

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  5. Lol I have no idea who this is, but these posts are always interesting!

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    1. I know, I've had so much fun reading all of them and trying to guess who it's about! :)

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