Hi guys.
Honestly, I don't even know where to start this post. I'm surprised I'm even writing this because I thought I was done with the book world forever. That sounds a little dramatic, but it's true.
Up until 5 days ago, I hadn't picked up a YA fantasy (or really any book) in a year and 8 months.
A year. And 8 months.
Yeah. You read that right.
A YEAR AND 8 MONTHS.
Writing this post is kind of a slap of reality to the face because I don't even know what happened. People can get busy and reading can be put on the back burner. Everyone goes through it. But I almost turned away from it completely. The idea almost made me anxious, the notion that I used to read and blog and take all these pictures of books. It was a whole side of me that just shut down.
So for anyone reading this who wants the short version of the story: I took a break from the book-world, and two months later life got in the way. And it's only just now starting to calm down.
I have no idea if I'm going to really jump back into all of this. The idea has been nagging at me more and more lately. I miss my fan girl side. It was my passion in life. But I think this is a good start, right? (If I even post this, lol.)
Anyways, if any of you beautiful souls out there want more details of what happened and what I've been up to this past year and a half-ish, keep on reading.
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I would like to say it all started when I accepted a position at a media production company as an administrative assistant, but looking back on it, my anti-book mindset starting creeping in two months before that.
It wasn't a sudden change. There was no catalytic moment that made me suddenly turn my back on reading. I think I just got a little tired of it all. I had been actively reading and blogging and basically drowning myself in everything book-related for two years. Some people don't need to come up for air. But I did. It started to become monotonous for me, the same wave of emails coming in, the same books I got in the mail, the same posts I had on Instagram and on this blog. I'm sure most of you understand, so I don't really need to explain this.
So, I decided to take a break.
I started making more time for my friends and family. I threw myself completely into my job, which I loved with a passion. I started thinking about my future more and what I wanted to do. I had turned 21 that year and stared going out more. I was just living life, ya know?
I accepted the position at the media production company, and then it was a balance to juggle my work and social life. Reading was so far out of the question it wasn't even funny.
And in the middle of all that, I started talking to the love of my life. He was a golfer at the country club I worked at, so I knew him for quite a while before that fateful day where I friend requested him on Instagram and he immediately slid into my DM's. (Babe, if you're reading this, you can deny it all you want but that's exactly how it went.)
We're engaged now, and we get married on May 18th of this year. He's my best friend and soulmate. I knew those things even before we started dating, and he pushes me to be the best version of myself and to never stop fighting for my dreams.
During our whirlwind romance I quit those two jobs to pursue something in the event coordination field, but it fell through. I didn't have a job for a while, and that was probably one of the darkest times of my life. My anxiety and depression were so bad that I probably cried more in those 4 months than I did in my entire life. I kind of lost myself for a little there and poor Chris went through a lot during that time. But he stuck by my side and was my lifeline.
I found a job in March. Once I got back into the rhythm of that, I was able to deal with my anxiety, which I realized fed off me not having any purpose in my life. And in the past couple months, as life finally slowed down, I started to think back to a time when one of my purposes, one of my passions, was reading.
And here we are now. Slightly nervous, slightly excited, my mind still on the first few chapters of A Court of Thorns and Roses that I started over the weekend (because what better way to jump back into reading than with a SJM novel?).
Update: I wrote this post back in December of last year, and I just finished A Court of Frost and Starlight. I'm not sure if I'll write up a review of ACOMAF and ACOFAS, but I might. We'll see. Next up? More SJM, duh. She's finished the ToG series and I NEED to finish it. I think I'm going to dedicate 2019 to finishing all the series' on my shelves, like Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor and The Illuminae File by Jay Kristoff and Amie Kauffman.
So, my friends, here's to the new year and (hopefully) the return of bookworm Mariah.